Starting Tantra By Yourself

executive summary
Did you know you can practice Tantra on your own, during self-exploration and masturbation. Figuring Tantra out on your own first can make it more comfortable to try with a partner. Read on to learn about solo Tantra.

hot facts
  • Open your inner energy channels
  • Master the four cornerstones of ecstasy

Solo Tantra

Starting Tantra On Your Own

Sometimes people who're genuinely interested in Tantra believe they must wait until they have a partner to begin training. It's true, couples can reach incredible heights of ecstasy by merging sexual energy during Tantric ritual.

But those who wait probably have misunderstood how Tantra works. Even if you're in a relationship, it's equally vital that each of you apply what's presented here.


Tantra is an ancient Eastern spiritual practice over 7000 years old which uses the potent life forces of sexuality to fuel the expansion of consciousness.

Tantra says yes to life. Tantrikas, Tantric adepts, shift their approach to life by revering pleasure as a divine gift. They use exercises which clear their minds, relax their bodies, and open their energy channels to enter a state of meditation during high states of arousal.

The foundations of Tantric practice are simple things like breathing, moving, vocalizing, and focusing the mind. When you master these basics, you'll be able to circulate orgasmic energy throughout your body to reach amazing states of pleasure and awareness. When you learn to let go of social imprinting and welcome the desires that bubble up from within, then you're on the path of letting divine grace overtake you.


Why is solo practice a vital foundation of sacred sexuality?

"Now I find I can make love hundreds of ways through breathing alone with the full moon, by touching hands on heart with my beloved and simply breathing love into each other, or through full, deep sexual exchange. Tantra adds the spiritual component. Making love feels like worship and I feel like a Goddess being honored."
---- from Tantra Magazine 1989 You need to learn 5 Tantric basics before coupling with a partner to reach the peaks of pleasure available to Tantrikas:

  1. Approach Life & Love With A Tantric Attitude
  2. Embrace Inner Stillness Through Active Meditation
  3. Open Your Inner Energy Channels
  4. Master The 4 Cornerstones Of Ecstasy
  5. Shed Unnatural Conditioning.



How you approach life and sex are often extremely similar. If you can embrace your own sexual identity honestly, fully, and vibrantly, then you have a much better chance of mastering the other challenges of life.

The Tantric Attitude is one of peace, acceptance, and passion. Passion for life comes from how you approach every little thing. Maybe that's why our favorite word in Tantra is "Yes!"

• Do you feel inner joy from everyday occurrences like a sunset?
• Do you savor the little things of life, or do you chafe at mundane tasks?
• Can you let things be the way they are and just go with the flow?
• Can you appreciate the journey as much as the destination?

If you approach sex, or life, or meditation with a lot of stress, you're interactions will be dominated by your tension. Face it, how you make love reflects who you are, what you believe, and what you do in everyday life.

How do you approach sex? Consciously? Honestly? As an ego exercise? Mechanically? Or from a deep place within you?

Great sex comes from consciousness, from knowing yourself thoroughly and loving everything about yourself. Tantric awareness begins with the profound knowing that sex is natural, healthy, and a celebration of God/Goddess's love. Do you feel this to your core or, like most of us, do you often run into old judgments, taboos, and inhibitions?

So Tantra begins with the solo practice of embracing the Tantric Attitude.



If you enjoy sex, read about Tantra, and practice some, you've probably tried to incorporate new techniques into your lovemaking.

Have you ever found yourself thinking whether you've remembered the steps correctly, felt a little apprehensive and pressured your partner, or tried to recreate a magical experience you've read about? These common worries are never dispelled for some.

The energies Tantrikas work with are subtle, like high sound frequencies outside the range of the human ear. When you learn to tune in, tremendous power is available to you. But the tuning requires a high degree of sensitivity. If you're stressed, distracted, or busy thinking, you'll miss the magic.

"Pleasure in the body is transformed into the delights of the heart. Then comes the peace of mind followed by the ecstasy of the spirit."
---- Margot Anand

All Tantric practice is rooted in deep relaxation. You can relax through silent meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, or more dynamic processes to clear the mind and calm the body. We use many of these techniques in our live sessions plus stretching, massage, and dance.

Our favorite is called Chakra Breathing. Do you know about the seven energy centers in the body roughly aligned with the spine?

Chakra Breathing is a dynamic meditation which uses the breath, mind, and movement to cleanse, refresh, and recharges your native energy vortices. Its great rhythmic music guides the experience and often leaves you in a passionate or altered state. We do it several times weekly to prepare us to unleash the powers of advanced Tantric practice. Oh, did we mention that a few minutes of this is quite fantastic foreplay even for beginners?



If you enter divine love play with a Tantric attitude in a relaxed place, you're off to a great start. But can you generate and channel the cosmic forces of orgasmic energy even without touching?

We call this streaming, opening the channel that connects your chakras to the flow of pleasure. Can you sit silently and feel the heat, tingling, and pulsing of latent orgasmic energy within your body without sexual stimulation? If not, you're going to really love these Tantric baby steps.

When two partners who can do this get together, fireworks are bound to happen every time.

One of the big pitfalls of Tantra is common to men. Women can be so passionate once they get going that guys often feed off their energy. If we let our partners do all the energy conjuring, even great lovemaking becomes one-sided. Then it falls far short of the heights of Tantric Orgasm you can reach when you're both priming the pump.

If you haven't experienced a prolonged full-body rapturous inner journey of multiple orgasm, you've got something great in store for you. A Tantric Orgasm is a continuous energy wave of pleasure which feels like an explosive climax but often without genital stimulation and ejaculation.
• How does a guy who's bred to spill his seed learn to orgasm without ejaculation?
• How can new lovers learn to spread the ecstasy of orgasm everywhere in their own and in each other's bodies?
• How can anyone learn to transform what's commonly a 10-second series of genital pulsing into a multi-hour wave of bliss?

Well, it's not just by learning a new sexual technique. Tantrikas naturally become highly skilled in using their bodies, hands, lips, and erogenous zones. But the true power comes from opening one's energy channels.

Solo Tantric Orgasms are quite fantastic. Mutual Tantric Orgasms are unbelievable. Great mutual ones depend on being both partners being able to do it themselves.



What are the cornerstones of ecstasy? You know, that rare amazing rapture that transports you to some other state of consciousness.

The first is breath. When your body is real excited, you take in huge amounts of air to fuel your metabolism. Guess what happens if you breath deep and slow even without arousal? Yes, you get excited! You can use Tantric breathing any time to amplify any excitement you're feeling.

Second is movement. Pleasure makes your body move. What happens when you hear your favorite music at a live concert? You move. Nobody had to invent dancing, it's just natural for happy people. So move your body sinuously while you're breathing and you can turn yourself on.

The next cornerstone, sound, is challenging for many people. Orgasm naturally brings out sighs, moans, and screams of delight. But because people tend to hide their sexuality, the more inhibited you are, the quieter a lover you probably are. When we teach the four cornerstones during Tantric Initiations, we concentrate heavily on freeing the passionate voice.

The fourth cornerstone, presence, may be the most elusive and powerful. Totally experiencing what's happening in the moment is essential to accessing the latent magic of orgasmic energy hiding within. Thinking about the baseball game, work pressures, or the dirty kitchen floor will take you out of the experience.

Tantric adepts who can fully be here now describe lovemaking as sexual meditation. They relax totally fully absorbing the fires of passion raging throughout their bodies.

Face it, you've got to learn the 4 cornerstones yourself. If you're aiming for the deep intimacy and Tantric Orgasm you can't depend on your partner, the perfect moment, or outside factors.



If you learn to say yes to life, relax when you're aroused, flow sexual energy, and utilize the cornerstones, celestial pleasure can still be elusive.

We grow up in the modern world rife with negative programming about sex - about all kinds of enjoyment. How can you fully experience the highs of sexual meditation if you believe sex is dirty, shameful, or sinful?

Too often, beginners think they're sexually liberated until they begin true Tantric practice. For example, do you...
• Openly describe your fantasies to your partner?
• Consciously experiment to find out what brings you maximum pleasure?
• Honor and welcome touching yourself "down there"?

If you enter into sexual play with lots of fears, unhealed deep-seated sexual wounding, or guilt from getting caught, it will block your progress. It's astounding how deep is our programming that hides our natural passion.

Most of us are indoctrinated to believe that good sex requires a partner. In Tantra, because we revere pleasure and the connection between flesh and spirit, self-pleasuring is also honored.

So how does one shed the social conditioning of a lifetime? The power of Tantric healing is just do what comes naturally. Follow your heart, follow your bliss. Your natural sexual urges will draw you to dance, play, and commune with your higher self if you let it go. Once on the way, you'll undoubtedly run into those taboos, moral judgments, and fears bred into you. The beauty of Tantric healing is that focusing on pleasure dissolves everything you want to discard.

For focused support with this, we offer long-distance and live Sexuality Coaching tailored distinctly for men's and women's issues.

"Tantra is the natural way. You need not fight with the current...become one with the river, surrender. Tantra is the path of surrender. That’s why Tantra is the path of love - love is surrender."
---- Osho, Tantra: The Supreme Understanding



Knowing these 5 crucial elements, can you see what you need to learn yourself first? If you're in relationship, imagine the excitement, freshness, and power of lovemaking once you master Solo Tantra first.

If you're unattached, think about how much more appealing a catch you'll be as a mature Tantra practitioner. Do most women want a hungry horny guy who doesn't know what to do with all his sexual energy? Do most men want to hook up with a frightened inhibited women who doesn't know what she wants?

Solo Tantra is only the beginning. But without the beginning, it's just plain old everyday sex.

Love and Goddess Speed Your Journey...

Dhyan Jeffre and Dhyan Somraj