How to Have Anal Sex
- Take it Slow
- Lube it Up
- Talk it Through
- Positions for Anal Play
- Relax and Enjoy
- Anal Sex Tips
How to: Anal Sex
Don't be fooled into thinking anal intercourse is only for the "givers" pleasure - it can be extremely stimulating and pleasurable for the receiver as well!
The anus is rich in nerve endings, and some women can orgasm from the pelvic contractions combined with the excitement of anal play. Read on for details.
Take Anal Intercourse Slow
- Give yourself time to relax and experiment.
- Communicate with your partner - it's the key to anal pleasure.
- Practice tensing and relaxing your anal muscles (Kegels) to loosen up.
- See our How To Kegel Exercise page.
- Work up to intercourse by using a well-lubed finger. Or try tapered beads like the Flexi Felix Anal Beads or a small anal plug like the Silicone Tee
- Lay the finger horizontally across your anus.
- Gently push out, like you're having a bowel movement, and pop the finger in.
Lube it Up
- Use a latex condom to protect against sexually transmitted infections. See our condom selection.
- Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate.
- Thicker water-based ones are best, try Maximus.
- When you think you've used enough lubrication, put on some more.
- Try having an orgasm before you begin anal play to help relax. Experiment with dildo harnesses for anal sex with male or female partners.
Talk it Through
- Breathe deeply - it helps you stay in control and makes insertion easier.
- Talk to your partner about the pace and depth of insertion.
- Tell your partner what you like, and what's not quite right.
- If you feel more than a little uncomfortable, wait and try again later. A little bleeding can be normal. If it's more than a few drops, stop immediately.
Positions for Anal Play
The rectum is not straight like the vagina, so try a variety of positions.
- Side by side: Best for beginners. Gives receiver the most control over penetration. Also called spooning.
- Missionary: Provides face-to-face intimacy. Receiving partner lies on her back and penetrating partner approaches from the top.
- Rear entry: Allows for deepest penetration. Exposes the anus for easy thrusting. Also called doggie-style.
Relax and Enjoy
Find the sensations you like most, and ask your partner to repeat them.
Stimulate your clitoris during anal penetration. The Venus Penis can be easily worn during anal play. Enjoy the pelvic muscle contractions as your partner thrusts.
Don't switch back and forth from anal penetration to vaginal. It can cause infection.
Vibration sometimes helps the anus to relax. Try the Zing Vibrating Anal Plug.
Anal Sex Tips
- It's common to feel the urge to have a bowel movement during anal play. You might need to go to the bathroom after penetration.
- A water-based, thicker lube like Maximus works best because they provide a cushion for the delicate anal tissues.
- Use plain condoms, as flavored ones have been known to cause burning.
- Some people like to use an enema before anal sex, even though very little fecal matter is actually stored in the rectum. Others like anal sex just because of the idea of it being "dirty."
- Build up trust with your partner so that you can talk this through and make it a pleasurable, sexy experience.
- Experiment on your own with graduated anal dildos like the Njoy Plugs.
- For Men: Check out our How To Stimulate the Prostate and experience the joys of a prostate orgasm with the Aneros Prostate Stimulator.
- Keep toys clean and fresh after use by using California Exotics Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner.