I'm New to Sex Toys
Ask the Sexpert
Sex Toy to Prolong Intercourse
I have convinced my wife to buy a dildo or vibrator. She can be shy, and only climaxes through masturbation. I hope to use the toy to improve vaginal intercourse, as I come quickly and think she may enjoy sex more if we use a toy to prolong it. Where should I start?
First, way to go. Too many men and women think that penis/vagina sex is the be-all and end-all of sex. Once the erection is gone, they surmise that the sex is over. Nope.
In general, women's sexual response cycle tends to be longer than men's. This means it takes longer for women to become aroused and longer for them to reach orgasm, on average, than it does men. So certainly, if your wife is not orgasming from intercourse alone (and many women don't), a sex toy is a great way to provide the extra stimulation she may need.
Since your wife has said she'd be willing to try a toy, the first step is to let her pick out the toy she's interested in. Let me suggest more on How to Choose a Vibrator. Models such as the Lelo Nea or the discreet Fukuoku are great choices for beginners.
Once she has a model she's interested in, I would suggest that she start by masturbating with it on her own; this will help her get used to the sensations and her own reaction in a comfortable setting. Then you can try introducing it during partner sex. You can try a vibrator that fits over the penis during intercourse that gives her the clitoral stimulation she needs. Good first choices are the Lelo Bo or the Virtual Bunny. Again, let her call the shots, deciding what she does or doesn't feel comfortable with.
And remember: orgasm might not be the focus for your wife. There can be lots of physical pleasure, intimacy, and connection during sex, with or without orgasm.
~By Ann Whidden