How to Talk About Sex Toys with Your Partner

Ah, new relationships -- blissful -- yet they can be tricky

You’ve got to ask yourself all of those important questions, like: “whose house to sleep at tonight?” “when should he/she meet my parents?” And of course, “how do I introduce my new partner to my favorite vibrator?” Your sex toys may have become your tried and true friends. Outlasting most of your relationships and definitely keeping you company when you are sans partner. So here are some suggestions to help the introductions go smoothly.

Start Slow

Don’t scare him or her off by worshiping your toy. It is more important to be focused on your partner than an inanimate object. After a few rewarding sessions of sex without the help of a sex toy start considering how you might broach the subject. Many partners are intrigued if not turned on by the use of sexual enhancements but don’t make any assumptions.

Bringing it up

You can easily figure out how your partner feels about toy use by dropping a few hints or asking point blank. Have they ever used toys before? If so, what kind? Opening a dialogue can help take the guesswork out of it. Creating a sense of openness about sexuality in general will help to create a safe environment to explore. Rather than dropping the bomb while he/she is reading the morning paper, leave some erotica out or suggest an adult movie where toys are used. The Many Joys of Sex Toys is a subtle or not so subtle suggestion.

Resistance

If there is some resistance on your partner’s part, negotiate an agreement. There are the occasional people who take offense to their partner using a toy. It may be a matter of slowly incorporating them into toy use as a couple or just agreeing to disagree and still using toys for masturbation without your partner. If this concern comes up it is important to let your partner know that your toy is not a threat to him/her or your relationship. Get it out in the open.

Shop for a new toy together

There may be an assumption that old toys = use with old partners. So plan a shopping spree. Either online (at stores like www.Libida.com) or physical stores and decide to pick and choose together. This way you are both involved.

Where to start?

Now, what toys are great for new relationships? We definitely have a few suggestions…

The Better Than Chocolate Vibrator is innocuous looking and easy to use. It’s great for direct clitoral stimulation.

Hitachi Magic Wand can work wonders for you both. Its plug in so no batteries are needed and if you don’t use it for sex it really does give great massages. It’s a good excuse to move from a simple massage to sex.

The Vibropod can be a fun option when picking a vibe. It’s the ultimate ipod accessory as it vibrates to whatever music you play. How can anyone resist that?

The Virtual Bunny vibrating ring gives both you and your male partner direct stimulation. He gets to enjoy the vibrating cock ring while you benefit from the vibrating clitoral stimulator.

Even the playing field by buying your male partner a toy he can enjoy on his own. The Fleshlight can up the ante on his own masturbatory practices.

The Icicles Sapphire glass dildo looks more like a piece of art than a sex toy. But in addition to being a beautiful way to bring you pleasure, secretly you can use a condom on it and explore anal play with your partner too.

If all else fails go with the most benign but still rewarding vibe available. The Fukuoku can be a good starting point for those male partners who have tendency of comparing their own penis with that of whatever vibrator you have. He should feel pretty good about himself when he only has to “compete” with a small fingertip mounted vibe.